How to put you child up for Adoption
Differs by state or province
If you are pregnant, or already parenting, and thinking about adoption for your child, this page explains how the process actually works and what your rights are at each stage. It is information, not advice, and it is not written to move you toward any particular decision.
People search for this using the phrase “putting a child up for adoption”. The words used in law and by agencies are placing a child for adoption, or making an adoption plan. We use those here.
Before anything else: you have not decided yet
If you are not sure, or you are thinking about parenting
Most people who look into adoption are weighing it against parenting, usually because of money, housing, health, safety or the situation with the other parent. Those are practical problems, and some of them have practical answers that are worth knowing about before you decide anything permanent.
Dialling 211 in either the US or Canada connects you to help with housing, food, utility bills, healthcare costs and baby supplies in your own area. It is free, confidential, and you do not have to give your name.
If what you want is to think out loud with someone who has no stake in the outcome, the services below are the right ones. British Columbia's ministry commits in writing to giving people information about alternatives to adoption, and the same expectation is reasonable to hold anywhere.
These are free and independent. None of them is paid more if you choose adoption, and none of them is paid more if you choose to parent.
United States
- All-Options Talkline, 1-888-493-0092. Free peer counselling covering parenting, abortion and adoption. Explicitly all-options: every decision and feeling is treated as legitimate. Also takes calls from Canada.
- National Maternal Mental Health Hotline, 1-833-852-6262. Free, confidential, 24/7, English and Spanish, phone or text. Answered by professional counsellors. Open to partners and family too.
- 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, call or text 988. Free and confidential, 24/7. It is not only for suicide, it covers emotional distress and simply needing to talk to someone.
- Dial 211 for practical help: housing, food, utilities, healthcare costs, baby supplies.
Canada
- Action Canada Access Line, 1-888-642-2725, or text 613-800-6757. Toll-free and confidential, 9am–9pm ET, seven days. Information on parenting, adoption and abortion, with interpreters in over 230 languages.
- 9-8-8 Suicide Crisis Helpline, call or text 988. 24/7, Canada-wide, free.
- Dial 211 for food, housing, income support and community services. Available in most of Canada, in over 150 languages.
Who you can talk to, and who pays them
There are three kinds of organisation involved in adoption, and the differences matter.
Licensed adoption agencies must meet standards set by the state or province. They generally provide counselling before, during and after, and in most states it is illegal for an agency to charge a fee to someone who decides not to place. In British Columbia, agencies may not charge birth parents at all.
Attorneys handle independent or private adoptions. The important point here is that you should have your own lawyer, separate from the adoptive family's. A lawyer who represents them does not represent you.
Facilitators match expectant parents with adoptive families for a fee. They are not regulated in every state and some states prohibit them. If something goes wrong there is often little recourse.
When you can sign, and how long you have to change your mind
This is where the law varies most, and where a general answer would be actively dangerous. There is no national rule in either country. Consent cannot usually be given until a set number of hours or days after the birth, and the window to revoke afterwards ranges from none at all to several weeks.
These are verified examples, checked against the statutes themselves in August 2026, chosen to show the range rather than to be a complete list:
| Where | Earliest you can sign | Changing your mind afterwards |
|---|---|---|
| Kansas | Not until 12 hours after the birth | Voidable before the final decree |
| Utah | Not until 24 hours after the birth | 72 hours, for any reason, but this can be waived in writing |
| Texas | Not until 48 hours after the birth | 11 days, but immediately irrevocable if the affidavit names an agency as managing conservator |
| Massachusetts | Not until the fourth calendar day after the birth | None. Final and irrevocable from the moment it is signed. |
| Minnesota | Not until 72 hours after the birth | 10 working days, for any reason |
| New York | After the birth | 45 days if signed outside court. Immediately irrevocable if signed before a judge |
| Florida | After 48 hours, or on hospital discharge if sooner | If the child is under 6 months: none, except for fraud or duress |
| Ontario | Not until the child is 7 days old | 21 days from the day you signed |
| British Columbia | Not until the child is 10 days old | 30 days from the birth, not from signing |
We have deliberately not published a full state-by-state table. When we checked, the most widely used national summary was wrong about Massachusetts and out of date on Utah, whose law changed in May 2026. A table that is wrong about your state is worse than no table.
If your child is or may be Native American
If your child is a member of, or eligible for membership in, a federally recognised tribe, the Indian Child Welfare Act applies and the rules are substantially different and more protective:
- Any consent given before the birth, or within ten days after it, is not valid.
- Consent must be signed in front of a judge, who has to certify that it was fully explained and understood.
- Consent can be withdrawn for any reason at any time before a final decree, and the child is returned.
Say so at your first conversation with anyone, so the right process is followed from the start.
In Canada, federal law also imposes binding requirements where a First Nations, Inuit or Métis child is involved. That law works alongside provincial law and is a specialist area, get advice from a lawyer and involve the relevant Indigenous governing body rather than relying on a general page like this one.
The other parent
Most jurisdictions require that the father, or any man who could be the father, is told about the child before an adoption goes ahead. This is not a formality. Where adoptions have been pushed through without a father's consent, courts have later overturned them, years afterwards, with the child already settled.
Many US states run a putative father registry. A man who believes he may be the father can file a notice to preserve his right to be told about an adoption. If he does not, he can lose the right to notice entirely, and with it any practical ability to object. The deadlines are short and unforgiving: in Utah, for a newborn, he must act before the mother signs her consent, which can be as little as 24 hours after the birth.
If naming the other parent feels unsafe, say that directly to your lawyer or caseworker. There are established routes for situations involving violence, and they are better than staying silent and having the adoption unravel later.
Open, semi-open and closed adoption
Closed means no identifying information is exchanged. Semi-open means contact is passed through someone else, usually a caseworker. Open means you and the adoptive family are in direct contact. Open is now the most common, and sustained contact with birth relatives is associated with better psychological adjustment for adopted people in adulthood.
Money, and why it is the thing to watch
In many states an adoptive family may lawfully pay some of an expectant parent's costs, medical care, and in some places reasonable living expenses during pregnancy and for a period afterwards. Florida, for example, permits reasonable living expenses during pregnancy and for up to six weeks after the birth, with court approval required above set limits.
What is prohibited, in most states and as a criminal matter in some, is paying for the child. In Florida, surrendering a child for money or anything of value is a third-degree felony. Paying a fee simply for locating a child is also prohibited.
If child protection services are already involved
This is a different legal track and it is important not to confuse the two.
A voluntary placement agreement puts a child into temporary foster care while you are unable to care for them. You keep your parental rights and you can ask for your child back. It is not adoption.
A relinquishment or surrender permanently ends your parental rights. It is not reversible in the way a voluntary placement is.
Two things people are often not told. First, you cannot necessarily choose to relinquish in order to end a case, in California, for example, the agency has to be willing to accept the relinquishment, and it may decline. Second, relinquishing does not automatically end a child protection investigation.
If there is an open case, you are usually entitled to a court-appointed lawyer. Talk to them before signing anything at all.
What to do next
There is no step here that has to happen today.
- Talk to someone independent first. The all-options services listed above are free and are not paid differently depending on what you decide.
- Find out your own jurisdiction's rules in writing, when you can sign, and exactly how long you have to change your mind afterwards.
- Get your own lawyer, separate from the adoptive family's and separate from the agency.
- Ask about the other parent early, because this is what most often unravels an adoption later.
- Do not sign anything you have not read, or that anyone is hurrying you through.
Foster Care Adoption Home is here to help you understand all of this before you decide anything. We will explain what the rules are where you live, what each step commits you to, and what happens if you change your mind, and we will stay with you through it.
What we are not is an adoption agency, so we do not approve, arrange or place a child. That is deliberate: it means nothing we tell you is shaped by an outcome we need, and we have nothing to gain from your decision either way.
Sources
- Child Welfare Information Gateway: Adoption: Considering Your Options and Making a Plan (February 2020)
- Kansas Statutes 59-2116: consent not accepted until 12 hours after birth
- Texas Family Code §161.103: affidavit of relinquishment
- Massachusetts General Laws c.210 §2: consent final and irrevocable from execution
- Minnesota Statutes §259.24: consent and 10 working day withdrawal
- New York Social Services Law §383-c: surrender and 45 day revocation
- Florida Statutes §63.082, §63.097 and §63.212: consent, expenses and prohibited acts
- 25 U.S.C. §1913: Indian Child Welfare Act, consent and withdrawal
- Ontario: private domestic adoption, 7 day and 21 day rules
- British Columbia Adoption Act ss.14 and 19: 10 day consent, 30 day revocation from birth
- British Columbia: placing your child for adoption
- All-Options Talkline
- Action Canada Access Line
Facts on this page were checked against the sources above on 20 August 2026. Rules change. If you are making a decision, confirm the detail with the agency responsible for your area.
