Coercive attachment therapies: what to avoid, and why
Applies wherever you live
This is the shortest post on this site and the one we would
most like every adoptive and foster parent to read. It is here because the
families most likely to be sold these approaches are the ones who are
exhausted, frightened, and have already tried everything else.
The warning
How to recognise one
The branding changes. The mechanics do not. Be cautious
of any programme that:
- proposes restraining or holding your child against their
resistance, however it is described - requires forced eye contact or forced physical closeness
- frames a child’s resistance as proof the treatment is
working - promises to “fix” attachment, or offers certainty about an
outcome - discourages you from seeking a second opinion, or frames
outside professionals as not understanding these children - is delivered by someone whose qualification exists only
within that programme
What to do if one has been recommended to you
Stop and get a second opinion from your agency or your
child’s paediatrician before going further. You do not need to
justify asking, and a reputable provider will not object to you
checking.
If you are being offered this because nothing else has worked,
that is a real and serious situation, and it deserves a real
response rather than this one. Ask specifically about the approaches
that do carry evidence, and about respite, which is often what an
exhausted family actually needs.
What to do next
Ask your agency for its own position on attachment therapies
in writing, and for a referral to a clinician who works within an
approach rated by the Clearinghouse or the Title IV-E Prevention
Services Clearinghouse.
Sources
- California Evidence-Based Clearinghouse, attachment interventions for children and adolescents
- California Evidence-Based Clearinghouse, scientific rating scale
- Title IV-E Prevention Services Clearinghouse
- National Child Traumatic Stress Network, resources for families and caregivers
Facts on this page were checked against the sources above on 20 August 2026. Rules change. If you are making a decision, confirm the detail with the agency responsible for your area.
